dear Kitty,

its been a while since i last wrote to you. i cant sleep and thats why i decided to write something to you. ive never once forget you, even in the shower! hehe.. its just that time doesnt allow me to write to you.

i have so many things to tell you, top much till i lost words where should i start. its just funny when you get overwhelmed or excited by something u just lost words to say about everything.

classes are as usual,

written assignments still in progress and “in progress” means, ive just started doing it. and guess what? i have another 4 weeks left before final exams and 3 weeks left before the assignments are all due and presentations. life is crazy sometimes but u just have to bare with it. stay strong and you will survive.

remember, only the fittest survive!

these days, ive started to make new friends and stop talking to some.

well, i dont know why, ‘dia’ seem to be avoiding me. but its okay u know because i have always know that im not really fortunate in having good friends around me. but, when i see some with good friends around them, although i tend to be jealous sometimes deep in my heart, im thankful.

i know.. weird right?

i am thankful i must say. honestly, i said that because i dont have to endure to much of drama in cliques. i dont mind not having friends if by having friends only allow me to see that side of friendship.

right?

i hope, u and i will have less drama in our ‘weird’ relationship ok?

promise?

yours truly,

Dushie

rebranding?

dear Kitty,

your existence today due to an inspiration from a book that called ‘the diary of Anne Frank’. ive always have stories to tell but i dont know to whom my stories to be told. i believe there is no one would ever want to listen to u without any doubts. Anne Frank is such an inspiration to me although she is a Jew and im a Muslim. i dont know how long u, kitty will last. but now i feel like i have the utmost loyal friend in the world who is ready to listen to me at any time. therefore kitty, lets make it official today!

i name u kitty because Anne Frank name her diary friend as kitty and for your information, i dont fancy cats at all. cats may be adorable for me to look at but no physical contact between me and that furry creatures!

guess what? i am now already in the middle of semester and i got tons of workloads that are in need of my attentions where i dont seem to bother anything about it. sometimes i wonder i am i here? what did i do here?

kitty, i have always have that in my mind and i cant seem to get rid of them. it made my self esteem decreases sometimes u know. i’m sorry today is our first day, and i have already telling u all the sad stories about me. i hope u can bare with me kitty. trust me, there are a lot more to come kitty.

i just wish u can stay with me kitty…

Bulan Ramadhan, Bulan yang Mulia

my eyes filled with tears reading a post from someone's blog. well, after few years due to all communication dysfunction, we didnt really get to talk for real as family kan? but Alhamdulillah, berkat bulan Ramadhan Allah guides us all to into nikmat yang tak dapat nak diluah dengan kata-kata.

it's a miracle to have everyone on the table for dinner and it happens only during the fasting month. Abah pun balik almost everyday to buka puasa together. how can I not be more than just excited? and the best of all, when i get the chance to cook for them and they really like it, trust me i do not want anything else more than this feeling. it is the super joy feelings.

i'm so happy that abah express his love towards everyone nowadays. and terasa sayunya bulan Ramadhan nak habis sebab bukan selalu family dapat kumpul macam ni. during the 'normal' month things are all normal too. sometimes when it is just not our day or the day yang Allah nak uji terasa sesak nafas dengan segala ujian.

Join “Contest The Best Picture of Me”

This is my first time ever join contest. Dah la masa tulis ni pukul 5.12am. jodoh kita la kot nak jumpa waktu-waktu macam ni. Dah la esok ada final paper. tak sedar diri betul!

anyway, nak join contest ni kena la start small, mana tau boleh menang kan?

well, in this contest, empunya blog : Engku Sofea suruh upload satu own favourite picture yang solo. Masa terdetik nak join terfikir “aku ni ada ke gambar sorang?”. hmmm lepas buka folder satu-satu, finally jumpa la jugak gambar sorang-sorang. okay dah boleh sengih sikit sekarang!

Hi name is Azura and my virtual name is Azura Dushku. (i’ll surely will be laughing at myself after 5 years seeing me writing this at the age of 21 and thinking what’s in mind at that time)

what makes me think that this picture is so special?

well, actually takde lah best mana pun cuma masa ni, i really felt special bila ada orang sponsor ticket untuk tengok konsert Air Supply Live in KL Convention Centre. Gambar ni diambil lepas concert dan boleh nampakkan kat situ muka puas tak ingat? kan? kan? *okay mungkin ekspresi muka tak berapa nak meyakinkan tapi percayalah, i was extremely happy at that night*

I wasn’t really at my best outfit, tapi itu lah paling selesa buat masa tu due to agak rushing bersiap. oh, ya betul sangkaan anda (walaupun untuk yang tidak bersangka) tudung itu memang senget sejak dari awal lagi dan takde orang pun baik hati untuk tegur “hey you, tudung you senget, fesyen tudung senget-senget tak hit lagi masa ni”  adoi. Pasrah. bila dah tengok gambar besar-besar kat laptop baru perasan. tapi takpelah, ada hikmah la tu. kan? mungkin menang ke kan?  hehe

the night was a blast, a moment of lifetime yang tak akan dapat ditukar ganti dengan wang ringgit.

and for this i tag ella si purple, catz the bomb! andAsyraf penuh bedazzle

sekian,

terima kasih.

Azuradushku

 

Feelings of Emptiness is A New Friend

i feel so empty. i feel so alone.


all i can feel is nothing.


i was at the top last few weeks and today, i feel like i’m drown in the deepest sea.
its hard for me to reach the surface.


what is wrong with me?


i’m going to sit for my final examination tomorrow morning at 9am. i haven’t finished my readings and i can feel that half of is giving up and another half is just too weak to lift me up.


that is why i’m here, writing my heart out. i do not want to be here but i don’t know the place where i belong to. i stuck in my own creation of imagination. i cant go out. i want to be free. i forgot the feelings of being free. freedom that has lost me, i can’t seem to find my way back.


it’s too dark.


i wish there could at least a light to help me to go through.

Allah itu Maha Hebat

i can only write bila hati tengah gundah gulana. semenjak dua tiga menjak ni selalu sangat happy sampai tak dapat nak luahkan dengan kata-kata.


dear diary,


i’m so happy these days. people around has been so nice to me. Allah has loaded me with lots of opportunities. i’m being so grateful for that. tapi aku selalu lupa. aku selalu leka, aku selalu terlena dalam mimpi-mimpi indah dunia. Oh Tuhan, Maafkan aku! when i’m happy i tend to forget you. i havent spend so much time for ‘God-Me Quality time’ like i used to. i missed You. Ya Allah, buka kan lah hatiku dan tetapkan lah imanku, sentiasalah pelihara diriku.


the other day, kau turunkan ujian yang maha hebat untukku. terlalu berat sampaikan aku rasa tak tertanggung. penuh sarat jiwa, terasa sesak. tapi itulah, kebaikan sentiasa dibalas dengan kebaikan. hanya dengan satu perkara kecil, kau balas dengan berganda-ganda perkara baik yang aku tak tersangka. terima kasih Ya Allah!


kepada teman-teman yang membaca,


lakukanlah perkara yang baik walaupun sekecil kuman, balasannya kadang-kadang tak tercapai oleh akal bila memikirkan.


mungkin nasihat macam ni kita dah selalu dengarkan?


tapi adakah kita betul-betul memahami dan menghayatinya?

I Dream of

i dream of having a restaurant that offers comfort food for everyone at a very affordable price. i want people to come to my place to enjoy the food with their loved ones. i would love to own one a day. big profits is not my priority.

my restaurant will offers massive burgers loaded with home made fries, steaks and food at my restaurant will come in big portion just like what you can see on Man Vs Food series, Chilli’s, That Little Gerai in AU5 and some other place that i’ve yet to discover.

ill be happy if i can make people happy just by eating my cooking.

wouldn’t it be great?

biarlah

its okay if you choose to treat me this way. its okay too if you decide to go your way because one day what is exactly how i felt today will return to back to you. i admit my mistakes but not you. i do not want to be cruel, i do not want to say things that can hurt you. let me just keep it with me because after all the truth will reveal itself.