It's going to be a delicately rough phase

I am going to finish my degree soon.  Can’t believe that I actually will be surviving 4 years of ups and downs, sweats and tears in studies, friendship and some other stuff related to studying soon!  I cannot wait to be free again.

here's a story about today,

Earlier this morning, I received a phone call regarding my internship placement. I was extremely down sebab ada this one organization rejected my application due to no more vacancies available for interns sbb hantar application lambat. I was quite desperate actually because I’m running out of time to report to my lecturer regarding my internship placement. I kept on avoiding my lecturer everytime he wanted to see me.

 Lepas dapat news kena reject lagi la kan, and so since I was deperate, I called another organization ni to make a follow up. Lagi sedih bila dapat tau rupanya the email I sent her for the past few days tak masuk dalam inbox dia rupanya. Cepat-cepat bukak laptop hantar sekali lagi. After about 10 to 15 minutes tiba-tiba dapat email notification. Nervous gila nak bukak, i couldn't afford to have another rejection in one day. sekali.... Wohooo lega! Well, I guess whoever yang apply for that organization surely dapat sebab diorang ni NGO so they prefer interns and voluntarily-based employee. So that lucky organization who’s going  to have me as part of their organization is MERCY Malaysia yaw! Well, I was at the extreme edge of sadness but the next thing I know, I am back on the top!

Therefore, I am really looking forward for June to start my intern and… got to start peningkan diri about my wedding preparation!

Tu lah, nak kahwin right after graduation so kena la biasakan diri multi-tasking kan!

Wedding Checklist (Major things to think about)

1.       Venue

a.       Nikah  : Masjid Al Falah, USJ 9 (proposed place sahaja, I have yet to meet the PIC to get the confirmation)

b.      Reception: Done (Deposit Paid, so consider done and got to start pening about the money to pay the balance L)

2.       Attire

a.       Nikah:  Bride  (done), groom (done)

b.      Reception: Bride (done)

3.       Theme

a.       Nikah: takde tema for both sides

b.      Reception: Mint Green + Off White

Hantaran semua tu later la, too lazy to write about it but we have already bought some. Berdebar je everytime tengok hantaran tu.

I cannot believe myself either nak kahwin this early!

Nope, mak and abah has never said anything about suruh kahwin ke apa and neither his family too. Things just happened which I believed happened for a reason. Well, of course I’m excited! I just don’t know what is the appropriate reaction I should deliver.

Will definitely mumble about my wedding preparation but I have no fantasies about my wedding day yet! Lol!!

see you soon Kitties!

New Chapter

I’ve abandoned you for quite sometimes already. I thought I wanted to give up on you but I know I just can’t. I need someone who completely listens without responding.  Anyway, let me begin with the good news about me.

Alhamdulillah, I’ve got engaged with the one who has been my sweetheart since I was 17. Who knows the so called puppy love will end up so beautifully like this. Insha Allah, with Allah’s will and both of our families blessings, my fiancé and I will ties the knot by end of the year. The decision was quite drastic I can say. I know one day, he and I will get together but never would have imagined to settle down so quickly like this. I am not against early marriage but I always believe that women these days should at least have stable economic before jumps to the marriage life. Well, I this that’s what has been written for me and I will accept it. 

It’s quite challenging actually to prepare for your big day without having stable economics (as for my part), I’m not worry about my fiancé though cause he is now working as a permanent staff at Shangri La. However, insha Allah everything will be runs smoothly. As for now, I’m preparing myself with knowledge and the art of marriage. Without good knowledge on marriage, conflicts that occur will hardly resolve.

So now I’m in the midst of preparing for my big day and I couldn’t be more excited about anything else. On top of that, I have just committed to another commitment. Well, it’s about time in testing your capabilities and how well you can handle yourself working under pressure. Okay, I was selected to be become the campus DJ. I know, what’s up of being a campus deejay right? There’s nothing much to brag about being the campus deejay. Like, who listens to their campus radio anyway? But… that doesn’t concerns me much. What matters to me most is how well is my articulations in delivering the subject matter.

 I got nervous during my first show and its normal I think when we got confuse with which grammar or verb or vocab to use. Lol! English is not my mother tongue so yeah… that’s basically runs on the first show. I will definitely come back and improve myself from time to time.  

So that’s what basically my life so far. Gonna talk about my wedding preparation soon! 

Dear Kitty,

im sorry the ive neglected you for more than a month. ive been very busy with tons of assignments due date as well as coping with my limited time between study and work.

exams started in January and i dont really have much time for myself either.

a month of January have passed, new semester is about to begin this 8th February. isnt that fabulouso? i cant wait for the new semester to begin and im going to strive to become one of the dean’s list students! at least for once in my degree level.

i wanna make myself proud. for the sake of self satisfactions, im gonna work harder this semester. mark my words kitty! ill prove it to you as well as people around me.

there’s nothing wrong to aim for the sky. the sky has no limit and so do i! as long as the determinations and the guts are there, i know i can do things that other people thought’s seems impossible.

ok?

pinky promise?

You should not keep my hopes high. especially when i’m in the times where you were most needed ever. it makes me feel like a fool keep on waiting for you. trust me, sometimes when things like this happens ( cause this is not the first time it ever happens) keep me wondering why we are still keeping this relationship. its just stupid.

what is wrong with you? cause you will never feel and be at my position so you will never know. i feel so helpless living in here feeling like losing hope and feeling as if there are no access to the outside world.  you are just stuck. you’re mind are stuck, and you just stunt. 

 

dear kitty,

i’m having trouble to finish my assignments, my group members doesnt full cooperation and commitment. they rely on me to finish it all.

today i didnt go to class at all. im not in the mood to go to class.

so what i did is, stay in the room watching korean drama, City hunter and at the same time studying for my second midterm tomorrow for Public Relations.

i am not sure if im ready to sit for another test.

i feel like eating something cold and fresh, and there is only one thing in my mind and that is sushi.

i know it sound pathetic talking about my life-less day, non-productive. well, this   is what i do best.

i’m sorry my dear kitty, i bet u would want to read exciting stories. i’m sorry if my story does not worth your waiting.

ill try to find something interesting to write to you again next time okay?

love,

Dushie

why can't i write my heart out?

dear Kitty,

its been a while since i last wrote to you. i cant sleep and thats why i decided to write something to you. ive never once forget you, even in the shower! hehe.. its just that time doesnt allow me to write to you.

i have so many things to tell you, top much till i lost words where should i start. its just funny when you get overwhelmed or excited by something u just lost words to say about everything.

classes are as usual,

written assignments still in progress and “in progress” means, ive just started doing it. and guess what? i have another 4 weeks left before final exams and 3 weeks left before the assignments are all due and presentations. life is crazy sometimes but u just have to bare with it. stay strong and you will survive.

remember, only the fittest survive!

these days, ive started to make new friends and stop talking to some.

well, i dont know why, ‘dia’ seem to be avoiding me. but its okay u know because i have always know that im not really fortunate in having good friends around me. but, when i see some with good friends around them, although i tend to be jealous sometimes deep in my heart, im thankful.

i know.. weird right?

i am thankful i must say. honestly, i said that because i dont have to endure to much of drama in cliques. i dont mind not having friends if by having friends only allow me to see that side of friendship.

right?

i hope, u and i will have less drama in our ‘weird’ relationship ok?

promise?

yours truly,

Dushie

rebranding?

dear Kitty,

your existence today due to an inspiration from a book that called ‘the diary of Anne Frank’. ive always have stories to tell but i dont know to whom my stories to be told. i believe there is no one would ever want to listen to u without any doubts. Anne Frank is such an inspiration to me although she is a Jew and im a Muslim. i dont know how long u, kitty will last. but now i feel like i have the utmost loyal friend in the world who is ready to listen to me at any time. therefore kitty, lets make it official today!

i name u kitty because Anne Frank name her diary friend as kitty and for your information, i dont fancy cats at all. cats may be adorable for me to look at but no physical contact between me and that furry creatures!

guess what? i am now already in the middle of semester and i got tons of workloads that are in need of my attentions where i dont seem to bother anything about it. sometimes i wonder i am i here? what did i do here?

kitty, i have always have that in my mind and i cant seem to get rid of them. it made my self esteem decreases sometimes u know. i’m sorry today is our first day, and i have already telling u all the sad stories about me. i hope u can bare with me kitty. trust me, there are a lot more to come kitty.

i just wish u can stay with me kitty…