rosak minda

kau nak tau kadang-kadang aku ter-rosakkan minda aku dengan baca gosip artis tau tak? tak. mesti kau tak tau. tapi aku bagitau jugak. 
i like to read the way the tackle certain issues tu. ridiculous pun ada. but that's how they sold their stories. people make money by telling other people stories kan. 


nak try baca ke? amik ni. sejarah Form 3 


i know its unfairkan to say such things that aku rosakkan minda dengan baca benda-benda macam tu. macam la what i wrote here will bring betterment to the society whatsoever ke ape kan. 


see i have lots of conflicts in me. its like i have multiple personalities.
baru tadi aku post about me bringing something good to the people yet arghhh i dont know what am i trying to convey here. 


so what?

serenity

"aku baru balik dari overnight. it was all my ideas, tak sangka ada yang setuju terus ktorg keluar exactly 5minutes to 12am. haha then ktorg pergi kedai makan nama Hayaki. concept macam kopitiam and its 24hours and the food kat situ sedap. anyway, aku macam depressed sikit petang tadi masa kat library cause aku online and ntah macam mana aku bukak2 blog i saw 'their' blog. they shared one blog and both of them are the author of the blog. and they made the blog public so at first aku cam terkejut jugak la but i didnt really read what they wrote kat situ aku just skimmed je but due to lots of practice of skimming..cehhh konon. hehe.. aku dapat tangkap la ape yang diorg cakap. they didnt write anything bout me but i felt something weird. i dont know. 


i dont want to be their friends anymore even if ive been given the chance to pun. bukan nak berlagak ke ape but i just  feel like  having them as my friends, is not me anymore.  its hard to put in words ape yang aku rasa. takpe kalau kau tak faham but i know somehow kau akan cuba fahamkan jugak kan? :D

tu je. so aku baru balik td around 6am. pak guard pun tido so kitorg masuk dengan selamat. haha. balik tu of course dah azan and after quite sometime aku tak solat subuh, i finally dapat solat subuh. 

nak tau something? aku somehow felt connected to my Creator. my doa is different this morning. its kinda like i literally have someone to talk to but in the invisible kinda version. sounds so weird kan. i pray that if  i live in this world without bringing any good to the ummah, to my religion, to my parents and people around me then take my souls. i felt so relieved now. 

serenity.

 ntah la tu yang aku rasa. 

thanks for reading! 

love you!"




:)

i knew it

I don't know if really i want this anymore... or not. 

the more i tell myself no, the more keep on doing it.

 "be in your safe zone, u dont want to be hurt no more"

but I keep on doing it. 
Ohhhh...come on!

Kau nak jadi apa?

 aku sendiri pun tak sure nak ke tak kerja as a journalist. cause haritu aku borak dengan academic advisor pasal specialization, dia suggest aku amik public relation or organizational communication course ni macam corporate comm cause dia cakap aku pnya presentation skills lagi bagus dr writing aku.

 tapi sebab nak acquire skills as journalist kat luar mahal. yang corporate comm tu at least if aku rajin nak baca memang boleh belajar by book. ntah la. tengok la macam mana.

can i survive myself as a journalist? definitely no definite answer for that

How do I define the term 'F-R-I-E-N-D-S'

im feeling alot better today. semalam pun aku dapat MC sebab tak larat sangat malam tadi baru balik campus. 

anyway, aku beli kat kau telekung. i hope kau tak surprise sangat. aku baru tahun ni dapat beli untuk diri aku and aku dah lama tak beli pape untuk kau. i hope kau tak rasa macam aku perli kau ape ehh. aku may be malu nak cakap depan2 sebab cam skema sangat je. kau kawan aku dunia and akhirat. aku dah been thru high and low dengan kau and still kau accept aku for the way i am. dari aku nakal tak ingat dunia sampai la skang ni macam dah baik sikit u are always there for me. haritu masa cousin wan meninggal umur sama dengan ezzad sebab leukemia bagi aku macam wake up call. arwah punya bestfriend setia sangat dengan dia dari dia nazak sampai la jenazah dia balik rumah and mandi and kafan semua. he was there all the time. i wonder would i have that kind of friends who will read Yaasin next to me and mandikan aku and terus doakan aku bila aku dah takde. emo sikit email aku kat kau yang ni. heee

 aku tak ramai kawan yang aku boleh bercerita segala, tho aku cam ramai jugak kawan but they are not my real friends. i dont trust people so much nowadays. u know ive been thru hard times losing friends. but now i am so over it. and bila aku fikir2 balik, there's always reasons behind semua ni kan. :)

2010

dah nak habis dah tahun ni. tinggal lagi beberapa hari lagi kita akan masuk 2011. usia makin meningkat, tanggungjawab yang makin banyak, hmm tapi berapa banyak aku dah sumbangkan?

you know, i know

but the thing is i don't know. i don't know what is wrong with you, or probably

is it about me?