I’m not sure myself whether this is the correct place to spill everything.
I often keep it to myself till at one point I burst and cry my eyes out. i don’t feel like talking to a friend for this because it gonna be hard for them understand or worst they started judging you and your family. And lets say one day ur friendship is at rock and letting urself being exposed to most undesired relationship, and u started not to speak at that person again.
How pathetic is that?
Thus, I just need someone who will read and hear me without asking even a question.
Recently, mak asyik cakap pasal abah. Dari dulu pun mak memang asyik cakap pasal abah but this time makin banyak je isu pasal abah. Mak has no longer tempat mengadu cause dulu mak selalu mengadu kat abang sampai abah benci abah. I don’t blame mak for this sebab abang pun muda lagi, akal pun kurang compared to sekarang which their relationship (abang and abah) are getting better lepas abang started belajar jauh-jauh. Kadang-kadang tu bila dalam kereta ada adik pun mak asyik bercerita pasal abah and I don’t like that. Nak cakap karang takut mak kecik hati langsung tak nak cerita. I knew how it felt like being told that your family is just like the lyrics of family portrait by pink.
Adik, she’s only 10 mak. She’s not supposed to hear things like how abah had cheated on you or on us. She’s going through changes and it’s going to affect her, psychologically. That’s what ive been through when I was around her age mak. But at that point of time memang mak dengan abah didn’t really care pasal kitorang. Both of you were rarely at home and I was only 10. It continues until I turn 13. When I was 13, ada majlis penyampaian hadiah for pelajar cemerlang upsr, mak dengan abah tak datang pun. I can still perfectly remember I got on the stage when my name were called, salam and ambik hadiah and looked around looking for mak or abah to have my picture taken by them tapi takde. Tak ada. Nope. both of them weren’t there. And since that ive promised myself I will never be any of the pelajar cemerlang.
Adik, she’s only 10 mak. She’s not supposed to hear things like how abah had cheated on you or on us. She’s going through changes and it’s going to affect her, psychologically. That’s what ive been through when I was around her age mak. But at that point of time memang mak dengan abah didn’t really care pasal kitorang. Both of you were rarely at home and I was only 10. It continues until I turn 13. When I was 13, ada majlis penyampaian hadiah for pelajar cemerlang upsr, mak dengan abah tak datang pun. I can still perfectly remember I got on the stage when my name were called, salam and ambik hadiah and looked around looking for mak or abah to have my picture taken by them tapi takde. Tak ada. Nope. both of them weren’t there. And since that ive promised myself I will never be any of the pelajar cemerlang.
You can't blame me, come on I was only 13 masa tu.
10 years ye mak and abah. Although I can now say things are quite different dari dulu but the pattern is almost the same. I don’t want adik to been through what ive gone through.
It is very tough mak, abah. And its crazy and mean at the same time. And it will forever stuck in my head.
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these are all my very own personal opinions. comments or criticism are most welcome, feel free to correct my English so i that i can improve my language from time to time